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Post Date:
October 5, 2023

Embracing Every Step: Thoughts on blaming oneself vs. blaming others

Dance Tips

In the world of dance, I often reflect on the moves, steps, and patterns (MSPs) we execute. No one is perfect, especially not me. I love to experiment with new moves and steps. Sometimes these lead to breathtaking moments, and other times, they remind me there's room to grow.

Being a good leader in dance means recognizing that you won't nail every move or pattern. As a leader, it's not fair to be so quick to blame followers when something doesn't pan out. I've been dancing for over a decade, and while I'm familiar with many patterns, every dance still feels fresh and unique. Each song brings its own vibe, and every partner has their own interpretation. I could dance the same song with the same follower 20 times and each time would be different.

One crucial aspect for leaders is actively seeking feedback. It's not enough to wait for comments; we should ask how our lead feels to our partners. This feedback helps us grow and ensures a better experience for both. To the leaders of all levels, our conscious awareness is very finite and it's actually quite common for us leaders to NOT receive feedback on our leading to ensure it's clear and comfortable for the follower's experience. Our MSPs are not life or death situations; be humble and willing to at least hear feedback from our followers.

Dance isn't about rigidly sticking to known MSPs. It's spontaneous improvisation, evolving from one moment to the next. That's why it's essential to be understanding and forgiving when something doesn't go as planned. If a follower isn't getting a MSP I'm leading within the energy threshold I'm willing to put into the dance, this could be also be a sign I need to level up my leading/understanding of that MSP to be able to simplify the MSP.

To the followers, I understand your role is intricate. You have to interpret the leader's cues, stay in sync with the music, and maintain your balance and posture. But remember, social dancing is always an improvisation. So, if something feels off, don't always assume it's your fault. We're both here to connect and enjoy the dance, even if every step isn't flawless.

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